Why on earth hasn’t anyone invented a less terrifying way to open biscuits and cinnamon rolls???? 😩
because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all
Davos, Edd and Tormund & BRIENNE OF FUCKING TARTH, also why Daenarys isn’t the one for Jon(also I’m the Valonqar of Jonareys)
Ever since Jon and Sansa reunited the intense breathing, the constant eye fucking that they do with each other and all of that innappropiate tension, three men and Brienne, have literally been the only few people in the show to see the tension, like when Dadvos said “jon isn’t a stark” and sansa replies “no, but I am”
She literally and very subtly proposed to Jon, and Davos and Edd shoot a look at each other
Like our Boi GRRM, Jon has a major thing for redheads, partly because Catelyn never gave him love, so in a way Jon tries to find a redhead that he can get validation as well as support, and Jon does the same for Sansa, he understands how she felt after everything she went through (Joffery & Ramsey and in the books there’s like 2 other dudes who want Sansa’s claim to winterfell) so she’s been abused, raped and defiled, she feels at her strongest when Jon is with her, he also sees her need for recognition, remember Jon would have died at the BoTB or as I like to say bastardbowl, if Sansa hadn’t gone to Moat Cailin to get the KoTV, Jon would have been food for Ramsay’s dogs, it was her who won the battle. All being said and done, Jon does feel indebted to Sansa, she was in the prime leadership spot, but Northern Lords crowned Jon, he doesn’t want the Crown, but he doesn’t want Sansa to be fucked over by the power the Northern Crown gives her, he loves her and wants to protect her.
Also just wanted to point out that Jon didn’t tell Danny much, she knows about Robb and Rickon, then later finds out that Arya and Bran are alive, which only happened because the raven was sent to Dragonstone and seen as Danny controls the area, she’s obviously gonna know what’s on the scroll. Then there’s the whole Jon dying thing that was abruptly stopped by Jon when Dadvos said “he gave his own lif-” then later Danny sees that he was stabbed. Also Jon knew Maester Aemon Targaryen, why didnt Jon say anything? He doesn’t trust her, she’s impulsive and she’s bathed in her own words “fire and blood”, Jon gave away as much as SHE needed to know.
And when Jon left WF, Sansa didn’t stop looking in Jon’s direction the entire fucken time, and the Littlefingers like (hmm, when brothers and sister develop certain feelings towards each other) and then from there, he begins taunting Sansa, by saying “ive heard the silver headed gorgeous devil is beautiful and jon is young and unmarried, then Sansa is like “what?! You think Jon wants to marry her” Littlefinger was purposefully trying to get a reaction out of her, which he got, from both Sansa and Jon and you Jonareys bros have got to admit, there was so much Jealousy coming from Sansa I could smell it from Winterfell to fucking Dorne.
There’s also a scene that was deleted or not shot (I can’t remember which one) but Jon talks to Ghost before leaving WF, it supposedly says that Jon told Ghost to watch over Sansa, now I know Ghost protects people that Jon cares for as evident when Sam was protecting Gilly from Bros of The Nights Watch beat the shit out of Sam and then Ghost comes in and scares the fuck out of them, but Jon didn’t tell Ghost to watch over Sam, yet he told Ghost to watch over Sansa… coincidence…. I think not.
Jon and Sansa Sibling Upbring was literally non existent, they never really had much to say Jon was busy brooding or dodging Catelyn, where Sansa wanted to become a proper Lady, she even says something along the lines of “Jon is jealous of Joffery, but he’s sad because he’s a bastard” she even asks him to forgive her when they Reunite at Castle Black, who else got shivers when that Hug happened?
Also the background theme music and Clothes worn by Jon and Sansa match like fucking when couples got matching Onesies, like bro when Jon went to Dragonstone he was all clad in black with subtle hints of grey and blue, whereas Sansa and Jon are matching clothes since S7 Ep1. Did anyone else get freaked out about Danny’s background themes, the music was Dark and ominous as fuck, also look at how she dressed, she wore scales on her dress when arriving at Dragonstone, but as Jon is there, you can actually see that her outfits are going from less scaley to normal westerosi types of clothes to please Jon, to make herself seem more normal and less dragonlike.
Also when Danny loses her Dornish and Ironborn allies, she wants to use Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal, Davos then says “you’ll want to discuss this between yourselves”, then Danny says “you will stay” and then proceeds to ask Jon what she should do and Jon gives her that speech, but what I found weird was the look Jon gave her after he said all this, it’s like he knows that Danny will listen to him and Tyrion gives sort of weird one, Tyrion by the end of the season has no traction at all with Danny, she’s stopped listening and going on Crazy rants, Tyrion understands the consequences of Danny listening to Jon, you guys have got to understand this isn’t the first time Jon has played someone, remember the whole Jon/Wilding Arc? It was to show that Jon isn’t who you think he is.
Season 7 is SUBTEXT
Then there’s Neds Promise to Sansa “when you come of age, I’ll find you someone who is worth of you, brave and strong but kind” ahem ahem sounds like Jon… ding ding ding ding we have a winner JON FUCKING BROODING IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE SNOW
It’s okay Jonareys shippers, I have come to destroy your fleets and cast you aside, but unlike Danny, I won’t set you on fire with a dragon, I’ll let Arya behead you bitches, cus if you guys can’t see how everything Jon is doing is for the North and who’s in the North? Who did the KiTN leave the North too? I mean my man turns into a fucking bear and pins Littlefinger against a wall, like I got sister’s who got boyfriends and you don’t see or hear of anyone choke slamming a potential suitor into a brick fuckin wall??? Also just to sink your ship even further
Jon - “i’d uh bend the knee but” (everything before the word but is horseshit) I mean look at the Gif below, Daenarys is looking with lust and passion, but Jon looks like he just wants to get it over and done with (in Petyr Baelish’s words “when you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, best to close your eyes and get it over with) I AM NOT CALLING DANNY UGLY, I’m just trying to find evidence that matches with what’s going on in Westeros
Jon’s cold arrival on Dragonstone, she literally takes his boat and Longclaw and says "yeah but nah but yeah, I’m not here to argue grammar” (which is a major ass call back to Season 2 when Danny wants ships)
Jon is the motherfucking Heir to the IT, which weakens Danny’s claim to it (She might be the mother of dragons, but law is law, yes she’s allowed to go to war for that throne, but westeros has Legitmacy laws, and succession laws, either fucking way, he’s got the better claim but so does Gendry) with her being Third in line when Aerys the 2nd was alive, and if you follow succession, it goes Rhaegar, Viserys and then Danny, but because Jon is Rhaegar’ s heir he inherits the throne because Rhaegar was meant to inherit the throne after his father’s death and after Rhaegar’ s death at the Trident, the throne goes to Jon (Also when Ned arrives at the tower of Joy, Ser Arthur Dayne says to “I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, Lord Stark” and they start fighting but Ser Arthur Dayne said that cus he expected Ned to go to war with Robert cus Jon is the king) Also his Queen is in the Gif below
Sansa is the key to the North and Jon knows it, he knows when he’s back in the North, the northern lords will be pissed af at him, but if he marries Sansa he gets to keep the North (remember Jon doesn’t want the 7K, he wants the North to be secure and free)
Danny is literally 2 fucking Tsar Bombas (really powerful nukes) and when she realises that Jon was playing the game, she is gonna use them (season 2, house of the undying, the visions she has) Kings Landing is literally what Danny wants and I’m more than willing to bet she’s gonna turn Drogon and Rhaegal loose on Kings Landing, what do you guys think she’s willing to do to the North?
She burnt Poor Dickon and Cunt Randyll, which is Sam’s dad and bro, like I know he was a dick, but your dad and your brother is family, and Sam has strong family values, do you really think Jon will be pleased to hear this? I think the fuck not
Also I get a weird feeling Jon is gonna bond with Rhaegal which for Danny *insert “where are my dragons” meme here* (She loves her “kids” and like any mom during a custody battle, it’s going to turn Sour)
Also Sansa is a big threat, she not a “stupid little girl” anymore, she’s been forming Alliances, she knows Houses from KL and all the way to the wall, Danny might have nukes (dragons) but what she gonna do burn everyone? (“I’m not here to be Queen of the ashes” but bitch if you carry on the way your are, there’s gonna be no one left, what she gonna rule over? “A graveyard”, when Jon said this something didn’t sit right with me
Did anyone notice that when Jon went beyond the wall him and Jorah Mormont had a convo about his kids and Longclaw, the stark theme music started playing and guess who the fak turns up into the Frame???? SANSA MOTHERFUDGING, LEMON CAKE STARK.
My point being it’s not gonna work for long between Jon And Danny, it’s a song of ice and fire, not ice and fire and fire, also you motherfuckers are okay when Jon is slipping Longclaw into Danny’s pussy, who is his aunt ( like who the fuck fucks their aunt?) But you guys can’t stomach Jonsa? Got a problem leave it in the comments, I’ll fucken slay you with facts fight me turd, also I kind of trailed off here
Also if you guys think Danny’s pregnancy is gonna go full term, you guys are clearly fucken dumb, the magic in the world if ice and fire is coming to an end, all the giants are dead, the children of the forrest all but forgotten, and the direwolves will outlive them all but there time will come to an end for men shall outlive them all, for man has no room for Direwolves, eventually they too will die, Danny has two Dragons which are magic, Daenarys is fucken fireproof (She isn’t fireproof in the books) that to me sound like magic, I’m not gonna say that Danny is gonna die cus S8 isn’t out yet, but if you guys think that there gonna be another Targ baby (born of pure Targaryen lineage) your sadly mistaken, I really do think Danny is barren, Daario Naharis wasn’t firing blanks at her, she just can’t get preggers. JON WAS JUST TESTING TO SEE HOW DANNY KNEW SHE WAS BARREN AND THEN THE BOATBANG WAS LEGIT JUST A FUCKING WAY OF ENSURING THAT SHE WILL GO NORTH AND FIGHT THE DEAD BECAUSE JON KNOWS THAT SHE LOVES HIM
In the words of THE BASTARD OF THE DREADFORT “if you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention”
*sips wine, lights cigarette, watches the entire Jonareys fandom burn, like Lady Olenna but I’m male so more of a Tywin I guess*
i can’t believe how many people in their mid-20s are buying the amazon alexa and like hooking it up to their home security systems and lights and phone and shit like i know we all saw the 1999 disney channel original movie smart house. they warned us and you are playing with fire
john lennon syndrome is when a dumbass thinks they’re concerned about peace and social issues and believe they are in touch with nature when in reality they just say the n word, smoke weed, throw a bunch of hindu and buddhist imagery together and call it “inner peace,” and don’t shower. you probably know a lot of these people
